Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
