she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
