Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
