I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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