wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
