i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
