just tell him i said nine months
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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