when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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