good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
