Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
