i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
