Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
