Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize