you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
