My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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