I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
two words...techno handjob
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
