did you get engaged???
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
