By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
