Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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