you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
