What a fucking waste of an outfit
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
