I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
