I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
