I understand why you refuse to be sober now
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
