I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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