Church boner. Awkwardddd
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize