don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize