I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize