So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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