North Korea, Best Korea!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she told me i tasted like america
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
