Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
