You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
