I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
