A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
two words: eviction party
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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