everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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