So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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