First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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