told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize