Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
