Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
