whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
