Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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