Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
