we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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