First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
