Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
