He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
