Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
