Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize