It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
