I CAN MOONWALK!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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