cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
