I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize