Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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