Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
