please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
