What a fucking waste of an outfit
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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