Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
