you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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