I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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