He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
