U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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